A foul stew

Happy New Year, dear readers. Sorry for the hiatus. Back in the saddle at 720. Literally.

A frightful scene to start the day in the third floor penthouse stall. Usually, an early morning stop in the big boy stall is an unmitigated joy--a freshly cleaned canvas, plenty of room to stretch out, and no waiting.

But this morning, a foul stew waited. And while I did not make careful inspection, I would guess that it was mainly beef and not a lot of vegetables. Maybe a potato or two.

It’s a new year and there are lots of new bottoms roaming the halls, so let us reiterate common courtesy rule #1 here at 720—once you have completed your business, turn and inspect the bowl, if there is anything in there but crystal clear water, flush. Repeat as necessary until the bowl is completely clear.

I wish that was the worst of it, but less than an hour later, I found myself back in third floor men’s room and, apparently, something had died in there in the intervening hour. And whatever “thing” that had passed, my nose suggested that it had voided itself completely before uttering its final breath and that it was also on some sort of rapid decomposition progression.

Anyhoo, men. It’s a new year. Let’s remember that colon health is not only a gift to yourself, it’s a gift to your coworkers.