Friday, March 15, 2013

Soft launch

Yes, potty blogger is back to the important work of chronicling the poopin' and peein' of 720 California. But I return to this forum without fanfare. One long-time reader recently asked if there would be some sort of party to celebrate this blog's return.

No, there will not.

This is a soft launch. (Not to be confused with a particular type of loose stool that is known in some circles at "soft launch.") I am quietly re-acquainting myself with the sites and smells of this fine set of rest rooms.

Emphasis on the "quietly."

Just as the first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club, the first rule of is you do not approach potty blogger in a crowded office hallway and ask him if he's "seen the shit stain on four." 

And while an eye witness report that "there's a particularly gruesome deuce in the second floor Peter Brady stall" IS valuable information, that information is less welcome while potty blogger is in the middle of a conversation with his boss.

In other words: a little decorum, people. Keep those tips coming, but consider picking an appropriate moment. Lowering your voice. Or maybe an email? 

The illustration that accompanies this entry is from a long-time reader who suggested that the blog may want to consider a "kids corner" in the future. It's a wonderful suggestion and I will run by my editorial board. But in the meantime, I see nothing childish about a pencil taking a dump, so I share it with you, my mature adult readership.

Finally, another long-time reader confessed that she lost a SECOND iPhone to the toilets of 720 today. (Words with Friends is worse than heroin, friends. There are risks.)

I, for one, am proud to live in a world where I can play "JOY" for 34 points WHILE voiding myself at the same time. And if you have to replace a $500 phone every now and then for the privilege, so be it.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Hot water hosanna!

The mule train arrived from Tennessee and the new hot water heater is here!

That's right, friends...the fecal matter you've been carrying around underneath your fingernails for the last month can finally get a hot sanitary wash. (Although, there is a report that the new heater's, er, "pumper" may not be strong enough to get the hot stuff up to six. Which is a problem that older gentlemen water heaters have and it does not make them any less of a man water heater.)

But if you're on E, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5, scrub 'em good, co-workers!

While "Hot Water Watch" comes to an end, "6th Floor Big Boy Urinal Watch" is now in it's fourth day.

On Friday, somebody put up a very nice sign indicating that 6th floor fellas should take their stand up business elsewhere. The sign is still up late on Monday, so I suspect 6th floor-ers may want to get used to the idea that the man-height plumbing will be out of commission for a while.

You know what they say: when god delivers a water heater he also breaks a urinal.