Monday, May 4, 2009

The ol’ switcheroo?

There are certainly no shortage of how-the-hell-did-he-do-that moments in fourth floor men’s room. I have seen things that make me question my own anatomy.

But this almost hurts my feelings it’s so confusing.

I’m talking about a chocolate spatter pattern...on the front edge of the bowl.

Think about that one for a minute, will you?

The bowl had been flushed. The only evidence of prior use: three tire tracks down the front edge of the bowl.

How does that happen? I’ve been turning it over and over in my mind and the only possible explanation is this: Somebody that works on the fourth floor has had his anus and his penis switched.

I know that’s a strong accusation. I don’t make it lightly. It is simply the only plausible explanation for what I saw. One of my co-workers moved his exit to the front. I have no idea why.

If you are this medical marvel, please leave a comment and help us understand.


  1. A reader suggests that, perhaps, the offender in question did not surgically alter himself, but rather, he pulled a "reverse cowgirl" on the toilet. Because...he just wanted to look at the wall while making is transaction?

    The surgical option sounds more plausible to me.

  2. Perhaps he was on the reverse-eating diet, a la South Park (food goes in the rear, out the mouth). Picture this: Man kneeling at throne, comes up a little short, gets some on the front lip of the bowl.

    I think you have your answer there, gentlemen.

  3. Bringing in work to the toilet, sitting backwards gives you a desk to work on.

  4. Maybe he just needed extra leverage so he hiked a leg up on the handicap rail and the other on the door handle then firmly grasped the bowl behind him.

    I call that move "the Lotus".