Friday, June 17, 2011

ALERT: Turd on the Loose

Just received the following email: "Inconceivable crime scene, handi stall on 4."

I grabbed my reporter's notebook and headed in.

It appears that a turd crawled out of the penthouse bowl (leaving half of its body wedged under seat, it's "legs" dangling off the edge of the bowl) then dropped to the floor, scooted across the tile into the Peter Brady stall, shimmied up the edge of that bowl and then dropped itself into the neighboring toilet.



  1. Authorities cannot find (what's left of) "the body" so there is a chance that the turd is still alive, that it has left the confines of the Fourth Floor Men's Room and is wandering the halls. BE ON ALERT!

  2. Authorities have interviewed the tipster who first reported the breakout. (In these situations, they have to make sure they don't have "an arsonist who sets a fire and then phones it in.")

    The tipster is not a suspect, just a "traumatized witness."

  3. Turd spotted on the corner of California and Grant, but turned out to be a hobo dump and not the fourth floor suspect.

    Witness now sitting with a sketch artist.