Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Paper or plastic?

True confession time, friends. Potty Blogger does not use a toilet seat cover every time he sits down to make the poops.

Don’t judge me.

Sometimes, I’m in a hurry and seconds count. Other times, I simply prefer the cold hard industrial plastic to the crinkle of the tissue paper. (Something about the paper reminds me of a doctor’s office visit. Is it just me?)

And really, how much protection does that flimsy strip provide? I mean, if the potty crabs are out, they’re going to find a way into your bottom casa, aren’t they?

Anyhoo, I would guess my ratio is probably 60-40, plastic to paper.

But the other day, I was faced with an etiquette question. Potty Blogger entered fourth floor men’s room and headed for the penthouse stall. A colleague was finishing his business at one of the urinals and said hello as he headed toward the sink.

When I got into the penthouse, I was faced with the question: do I just sit down and commence download or do I now need to make a rather elaborate show of pulling out the seat cover, making sure that my colleague overhears my effort? Do I need to send an audible signal that I am, in fact, not a disgusting pig?

I buckled to peer pressure, pulled out the cover and made a few overly-dramatic flourishes and crinkles that surely telegraphed "I am a clean teen."

My colleague left with his delicate sensibilities in tact. But my session felt like a trip to the doctor’s office. The things we do for other people.

1 comment:

  1. I'm going to have to call bulls$%!t (pun intended) on your 60/40 plastic to paper ratio, Potty Blogger. Judging from the vignette above, it seems like the real ratio is more like 90 plastic/10 paper. If the situation was really as you say, you’d have reached for the paper without so much considered thought and strategy.

    It’s OK to come clean that you don’t use the paper except when there are others in the room. Judging by the rest of your posts, there are worse things happening in that bathroom….