Yes, it sucks to be at the office on a holiday.
But a fellow pooper has made the party more pleasant by leaving his copy of Travel & Leisure next to the toilet in the penthouse stall. And he even left it a respectable distance from the crapper* to make sure that it wasn't tainted by backsplash or dribbles.
No, I didn't pick it up. I have too much self-respect for that. But the picture on the cover was nice and reminded me that somewhere, someone is sitting on a beach, enjoying a nice frosty alcoholic beverage.
* I originally typed the word "commode" here, which I believed to be a synonym for "toilet." However, the interweb just schooled me that a commode is, more accurately, a piece of awesome bathroom furniture. And with that, my 2010 Christmas list just got a new number one.